I know

I know that Heavenly Father will hear this prayer. Today I am not asking him to help me (for once) but to please watch over and protect the best friend anyone could ever ask for. She is going in for surgery today and I want my prayers to be known. I know that so many other people are praying for her today too. I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father will hear her name more than a few times.
I want him to know how important she is to me and everyone around her. I want him to know that she helps me feel the spirit just by being around her and that makes me want to do the same for others. I want him to know that she has a family that loves her beyond measure and a husband who needs her; because I know my life isn't the same since meeting her and I can only imagine his isn't either. I think he should know that her joy and unselfish acts of service make people want to do those things too. She's taught me so much about service ... I actually do it from time to time now.
I also think he should know that I can't imagine life without her. Not just because she makes me laugh, but because she truly listens to me. As if nothing in the world is more important than what I am saying right at that moment...regardless of how stupid, petty or unreasonable my ranting is.
I just want him to know, and I have faith that he does know, and that he has a plan for her that only he knows. (can you count how many "knows" there are in this post?) :)

Sometimes

You know, sometimes life just gets to be too much. Sometimes, there are too many people to help and not enough hours in the day to help them all. Sometimes you have to pick your sanity over your family and then you feel guilty about doing it. Sometimes you feel all alone in the world and wonder why you picked this path instead of an easier one. Sometimes you wonder if this challenge was one you really agreed to. Sometimes you wonder if peace and happiness really exist or if they are just an illusion created to keep you working towards something. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you're just going to have a bad hair day, look fat, and feel like staying in bed until the storm blows over. Sometimes you just need to vent and get it all out there. Sometimes.

More pumpkin patch fun

It doesn't happen very often that I get so many cute pictures of my kids that I can't choose which ones to post. Usually I get one or two where they are both looking and smiling at the same time. I'm not sure what came over Bella, but the day we went to the pumpkin patch she was photo perfect. Every picture we took she was smiling and looking. So I had a hard time choosing. Therefore I'm taking a page from Alicia's book...as creative director of this blog, I'm including all of my fav. pics and you can just skip this post if you don't want to look at pictures without narrative.


Plus it's Bella's birthday so a few extra pictures of her doesn't show horrible favortism over my other kids, right?

Do you see the little pink hat in the corn maze? I couldn't stop laughing watching her bop through the maze at
lightning speed (too bad she hit every single dead end or she would have been the first one out!).

A trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Last Thursday we went to the pumpkin patch with Arabella's preschool class. It was so much fun and Bella had a great time having Mom and Dad all to herself.




Such a daddy's girl!








Bella told Dean she was going to pick the biggest pumpkin she could carry...




Bella and her man, Wyatt

Petting the cows

I love San Diego!

For Christmas this year my sister Rachel bought me a plane ticket to fly down to San Diego for my sister Andrea’s baby shower. The weather was awesome (85 degrees!) and Rachel had so many fun things planned for me. On Friday we went to the gym where I got to meet Rachel’s good friend, Nancy. It was fun to get to know her better. Later that day we went to the beach. My brother-in-law Troy took a bunch of pictures of Rachel and I at the beach, but in the end there was no way I could post them on here. Why would I want to remember what I look like in a bathing suit next to my sister who could pass as a swimsuit model?




Check out my Baywatch run…












Friday night we went to this place near Rachel & Troy’s house where they had a live performance by an Irish singer. He was hilarious and really got into playing up the crowd. At one point he made me go up on stage and play the tambourine with him, but Rachel couldn’t figure out how to turn on my flash so none of those pictures turned out (in her defense it is hard to find on our camera).

This is a picture of Troy and Rachel’s friend Ek who is a sign language interpreter. Nancy told the guy who was performing that Ek could interpret while he played so he made Ek go up on stage and do his thing while the guy played. It was so awesome to watch.
A note for all those Moody’s who read this…it was so hard to get used to calling Rachel and Troy’s friend Ek! Can you believe there is another person out in the world with the same nickname as our Ek?

More good times

On Saturday Rachel and I drug ourselves out of bed and met Nancy to go running down by the bay. I loved being down by the water and remembering all the times Dean and I would go walk along the bay, the bbq’s we had there, Fiesta Island…so many memories.


Saturday night after the baby shower we all went out to an Indian restaurant with our cousin’s Mike and Val. Mike is actually my mom’s cousin, but he and Val always come to everything so we consider them our cousin’s too. We had such a good time and thanks to Val’s expertise we had a very delicious meal!

A Baby Shower!

It was so fun to be able to help Rachel host Andrea’s baby shower. We spent all morning getting ready and making food, and then it was time for the guests to arrive. I loved getting to spend time with Chrissy and Rebecca and getting to know Andrea’s friends.

Rachel, Chrissy and Rebecca making preparations

Check out this sweet cake Rachel and I made! The funniest part about the cake was that while it was cooling off Rachel’s cat, Lucky, climbed up on the counter and ate a corner of the cake. We cut the corner off and then filled it in with frosting so no one would notice. I still don’t know who ended up with the corner piece full of frosting…

My job was to write down all the gifts

You're gonna miss this

You know that awesome country song out by Trace Adkins, "You're gonna miss this." If you haven't heard it, go listen to it on you tube, or better yet download it. It's awesome. I had one of those moments yesterday. For Myanna's soccer practice her coach wanted all the girls to go watch a JV soccer game, Kamiakin v. Southridge. Alissa was invited to go play at Mallori's house and so it was just Bella, Myanna and I. It was cold, and the game was a bit on the boring side. But I wouldn't trade that afternoon for anything.
Most of Myanna's team was up at the top of the bleachers cheering, running around, screaming, and laughing. Myanna joined in for a bit and then she came and sat next to me. We talked about the game, we watched the players together and talked about what they would do next or what they could do different next time. We laughed at Bella and huddled close because it was cold. On the way home she said "Mom, that was really fun. Did you have fun?" Yep, Myanna, I did. And believe me, when the day comes that you don't sit next to me at games anymore because you're too cool or because you're gone to school somewhere in another state...believe me... I'm gonna miss this.

Really we do have toys

Alissa and Bella love to play "horse." This is how they play; they dress up in fancy dresses, tie a scarf around one of them and the other one runs behind them pulling on the scarf and say "yah! horsey, yah!" Now, lets examine what we have in our house. 1) a wooden rocking horse purchased 4 Christmases ago, 2) a large "real life" rocking horse on springs received 2 Christmases ago, and 3) 2 stick horses that actually make real life "neigh" sounds purchased last year for christmas. Total cost of horses available in my house ... probably about $200. Total cost of hand me down dress up dresses and a home made scarf ... probably about $5. When am I going to learn?

A new calling

A few weeks ago Dean was put in as the new Elders Quorum President in our ward. At first he was a little shocked...he had been told by our Bishop that he'd probably be the scoutmaster for at least 2-3 more years. But now that he's been set apart and settled into the idea he is ready to go. Here's the thing. Everyone at church keeps saying "What does Dean think of his new calling?" "How's it going being the wife of the EQ Pres?" "How are you handling Dean's new calling?" First of all, going from scoutmaster to EQ Pres isn't that much of a change. Now, instead of going to mutual on Wed night he has visits or presidency meeting on Tues nights. Instead of meetings after church, he has meetings before church. Before it was dealing with this scout who needs this passed off before the next board of reivew, now it's dealing with so and so needs help moving tomorrow morning at 5 am. Really, is it that much different? After the first week or two I figured it would all blow over. Now it's been 4 weeks and I'm still getting random questions from people. This leads me to believe that I must not be as good of a friend to people as I once thought I was. Is this really all we have in common...my husbands new calling? Am I that closed in and quiet that we don't have anything else to talk about? Hmmm...guess it's time to quit being cold and start being friendly. Darn it Dean and his new calling....

I should have stayed in bed

Every morning at 4:45 a.m. I do the same thing...despite my vast intelligence I get out of bed and catch a ride with Stef to the gym. Well today was one of those days where I should have stayed in bed. First, Stef wasn't feeling well and so I had to go alone. Second, it was "test" day. 3.5 weeks ago we tested with our trainer and today was our re-test to see how much progress we had made. I had to do one mile on the bike, one mile on the elliptical, as many sit ups/push ups/ball jumps as you can in a minute, triceps dips, body weight rows, and then plank and a wall sit for as long as you can. I improved at least a little bit in every area except one. That made me happy...but my trainer looked like Jillian does when she's about to explode. I think he really thought I wasn't trying as hard as I could. Who knows what goes on in the mind of crazy people.
His way of getting me back was, among other things, a boxing workout. I had to do all kinds of boxing things like combinations, punch and duck stuff, yada yada yada. Remember, this is all after my testing. Anyway, I was done, no more gas in the tank, stick a fork in me...done. When he said "one more minute" I did what I think every one of those contestants on the biggest loser always thinks about doing when they are pushed beyond their limits... I "missed" the gloves he was wearing and hit him instead.
I had to do pushups for it....but it was worth it. Next time someone pushes me too far, just remember what I'm capable of. Now if I could just ensure that my husband reads this post.

I need moments like this more often

After the ridiculous morning I had, I told the kids I needed to take a nap this afternoon. When I woke up I found this:I love moments like this. It doesn't happen very often but when it does it makes me feel like I might be doing something right when it comes to this whole parenting mess. Plus we killed two birds with one stone...homework, done...20 min of reading to Bella, done....sisterly bonding moment, priceless.

Today's the Day!

Myanna and Alissa both got their ears pierced back in August. Myanna was so frustrated that she couldn't wear fashionable earrings on the first day of school and has very eagerly awaited the 8th of October when she could finally take out her original earrings. Well today was the day... she got up early and picked out clothes and then some earrings. Myanna chose pink stars and with a bit of assistance from Mom got her new earrings in without much fanfare. They looked so cute and she was so excited to head off to school and show them off.

Then it was Alissa's turn. We picked out her earrings and then headed for the bathroom and before we were even halfway down the hall she was already freaking out. "Mom, what if it hurts?" "Mom, if I cry I want you to stop!" "Mom, never mind, I don't want new earrings, these ones are fine." I promised her a thousand times that if it hurt at all I would stop. Finally I bribed her with money...if she would just let me try to put in new earrings I told her I'd pay her a dollar. That finally worked. Her shoulders were so tense that I could barely get to her earlobes, but after 4 tries and telling her to relax we got the first earring out, and the new one in. "Mom, that wasn't bad at all!" For who?
Now don't they look soooo cute??

Where can I turn for peace

This is one of those posts that makes me wish I could make just one post on my blog private. I need to post this, for myself, but I don't really want other people to read it. Now of course you will because you're curious. And that's okay. Just please don't leave a comment and I'll pretend like no one is reading it.
One of the things I dislike the most about myself is my need for approval. I've always struggled with low self esteem...probably something to do with no one wanting to be my friend but the deaf kid in elementary school, or being called the "ugly girl" in high school. The list goes on and on. My mom would like to take some of the blame, but it was never within her control. It's also something that I don't think I'd really change about myself. Knowing what it feels like to not be liked, not be wanted, and feel completely useless because others don't value you, has made me a more compassionate person.
The problem with it is that I am always waiting on pins and needles for someone's approval. Does Myanna's teacher think I'm a flake because I forgot to turn in my student survey for a month? Do the people at the office think I don't care because I forgot to bring in baked goods on Fri for the shelter auction? Does my trainer think I'm a complete waste of space because I can't lift a fraction of the weight Stef does? Does my dentist think I need medication because I'm smart enough to know better and still don't floss? The list goes on...
The problem is that once I get someone's approval (i.e. a compliment) I immediately brush it off because in my mind I can't possibly be worthy of a compliment. So here it is...the vicious cycle of my life...wanting approval/compliments, then getting one, then blowing it off because it can't possibly be true.
What I really want is to just be able to accept a compliment and not question it's validity. I want to feel like it's okay to be happy with who I am and not need other's to approve of me to give value to that happiness. The greatest thing about this is that I know this can happen. I just have to be willing to turn my weakness over to my Heavenly Father without fear that he can't change me. I'm working on it.
So the next time you give me a compliment, I'm going to try really hard to just say thank you and not anything else. And if you see a smile on my face as I walk away you'll know why.

p.s. I just think this picture of Bella is funny, it doesn't really have anything to do with my post!

Those darn rolls!

Now that you know all about my need for approval....
Yesterday we got invited to a potluck dinner. I hate potluck dinners. Here's why: I am the only person I know who can't cook. I mean I really suck at it. My family is going to die when they leave the confines of my home and realize that food in the real world actually tastes GOOD.
So potlucks are like my personal version of he** because not only can I not cook, but now my no-skill food is taking up valuable space where someone else's good food could be instead. I usually get away with offering to bring something store bought...(who can judge store bought, right?) but this time everyone was bringing home made soup. Not even my kids will eat store bought soup in a can.
So I volunteered to make rolls. How hard can that be? You throw a bunch of stuff into the bread maker, roll it into balls, let it rise, bake it and voila!...homemade rolls. Right? Wrong.
Here was my first mistake
I had no idea there is a difference between salted and unsalted butter. I apologize to all you gourmet bakers who are cringing right now, but seriously. If unsalted butter wasn't supposed to be used for baking, why do they sell it at all?
Here was my next mistake
I made 2 batches before I decided to try one of my rolls. But it takes 2.5 hours for one batch to mix, rise, mix, and rise again, and I had to make 3 batches in like 7 hours so I didn't have time to stop and sample.
When I finally did sample, and then made Dean sample, it was too late, the third batch was already in the breadmaker and I was not about to start over. I guess unsalted butter does make a difference.
Now here is the good part. Normally my need for approval would propel me to announce my mistake immediately upon walking in the door of my host's home. I would tell everyone that I already know my rolls suck so that they automatically feel sorry for me rather than judging me for my pathetic roll making skills. But I had an epiphany. Did I try to do my best? Yes. Did it work out this time? Not really. Does it mean the world will end if everyone who eats a roll thinks "Man, how hard is it to buy salted butter you ignorant roll making idiot?" No. Will they still think I'm worthy of their friendship if they realize I let them down? Let's hope so (we're all in our 30's after all).
So I went right in, put my rolls down, didn't apologize for them or say anything about them; everyone ate them, no one died or looked too horrified, and for the first time in my life I did NOT let my need for approval rule my entire night. Man it was liberating.
Too bad it only last one night...because this morning I was right back to seeking approval. I'm proud of myself for making headway though...life is always about 2 steps forward even when you need approval to do so. :)

A Very Fun Day!!

This weekend we took Jim and Stefani Hansen to Pullman with us for homecoming weekend. The cougs were playing Oregon (Jim & Stef's team), so it was a fun rivalvry weekend to boot. I kept saying that no matter what happened someone would come home a winner...and despite the bet I made (and lost) I knew all along it wouldn't be Dean and I who were coming home winners this year.

Stef was so sweet about the whole thing. I wanted to visit all the houses I lived in as a kid, and Dean wanted to see the apts from our college days. Jim was patient, but Stef was the one who would jump out and take all of the pictures. Notice all my great poses...after awhile Stef said "Sarah just one nice picture please!" I guess next time my kids won't stop posing and I don't get even "one nice picture" I can't pretend to not know where they get it from.

A beautiful campus

I’m sure my love of this campus has a lot to do with the great memories I have from my time here. But I do think WSU has an incredibly beautiful campus. I love the red brick buildings, the green trees everywhere, and seeing the wheat fields of the rolling hills of the Palouse in the background. I even love all the stairs and hills because it’s all part of my campus memories. WSU will always hold a spot in my heart.

Our first stop was Smith gym…not for any good memories (we had an abs class here…nothing good about that memory!) but because we had to use a bathroom. Jim and Stef found the campus art very fascinating…

The clock tower at the top of Bryan Hall

This is a picture of the Hello walk. It’s a walk way down the main section of campus that is all made out of red brick. They call it the “hello walk” because WSU used to have a professor that would walk up and down when he didn’t have a class and say hello to every student.

We stopped at the bookie, only to find that they’d moved it to the cub! A few hills/stairs later we found the new bookie…a huge two story store inside the cub (which is all different now too). Check out the awesome shades Stefani found to show her cougar pride (now if only Brenda could teach me how to blur out the hat…)

There is nothing like Cougar Football (even when they lose)

Time for Cougar Football! The best part about going to school in Pullman is that the whole town literally turns upside down on Saturdays in the fall. Everywhere you go you see crimson & gray, cougar gear, and good old fashioned team spirit. I wish the homecoming pride could have helped the Cougs show up this weekend, but you can’t always get what you want.The best part of the game was the opening drive. For that first two seconds I still had hope that we’d at least make it a game. Then we fumbled…on the first play of the game. Crap…it’s going to be a long day. Yummy hot chocolate in cougar signature cups (the highlight of the game for me). By the end of the game I could sing the Oregon fight song AND do the cheerleader’s dance routine to it. Even though the ducks scored 9 touchdowns, Stef still screamed and cheered every time they did. I tried to tell her you are only a true fan when you can still cheer for your team when they lose over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over….you get the point.

We had so much fun. It was a great day, despite the pathetic football game. Thanks to Jim & Stefani for an awesome day, and for putting up with all of our “oh! Yeah! Remember when…” stories all day. :)

The glory days

Welcome to a walk down memory lane for Dean and I. These are all places either Dean or I lived when we were students at WSU. As I’m looking through these pictures I realized that we took all pictures of Dean’s apartments and none of mine, bummer!

This is the Wil-Ru apartments. This place has good memories for me because it’s where I took the missionary discussions before I joined the church. We are holding up “9” and “1” because the address was Wil-Ru apt. 91.

A-1 Chief Jo…we both have sooooo many memories here. Dean lived in this apt when I moved in just a few doors down with my cousin. This is where we met and fell in love. This is where I first met Dean’s parents, had some crazy days, and learned that Dean was “a freaking mormon” (yes, that was my first thought). I still remember waiting for him, right here...we would meet up to go catch the bus to campus, and I would wonder if he liked me as much as I liked him.